Capture me in this moment
And I’ll deny it exists
A moment of thoughtfulness
That forever persists
I’m lost in a daydream
No place for reality
I see what I want to see
And that can never be
It’s a moment of weakness
To dream like a child
Make wishes upon stars
And let my heart run wild
A moment to costly
To dare this dream
Only
To be captured in a moment
Where hope lies
And the dream dies
I’m not broken, never was. So forgive me if I don’t understand why you live in constant misery. Can’t you see that building walls, only isolate and lead to self destruction.
I watch in silence
As you experience
Pain
You go through the motions
Of suffering
And express your pain
Tears and heartache
No relief is coming
Your pain is
Profound
I see myself
There
But, back then
Pain was mine
And you didn’t care
There’s no attachment
Between us
I feel nothing
As I stare
With detachment
I have arrived at this forsaken place
Walked through the shadows of my years
Looked past the memories of my pain
To stand at the gate
Ready to accept my fate
When I died
No one cried
They never knew I existed
Never saw my pain
I was alone
No where to call home
No one to see
The emptiness inside of me
I was raped in silence
My mind broken
My voice stolen
I’m an empty vessel
Hiding in the darkness
Crawling blindly
My trust betrayed
And you ask
Where is my faith
I’m tired of this life
My youth lost
Living with ghosts
Haunting my days
My nights tortured
With visions
Extreme
I wake holding back the screams
Trained by a hand violent
I’m taught to be silent
I don’t know how to cry
Or deny
What you take
Without permission
I never had a voice
Or choice
Living
I don’t know
Because I died long ago
I am out of sorts
Not a cold or flu
Maybe the blues
I’m sad
Confused
Withdrawn
Depressed
Under stress
What I feel is intense
I don’t know why
I can’t smile
Drained of emotions
Numb
I’m too tired to care
A cycle
Never ending
Wake
Sleep
Nothing in between
This emptiness
Has disrupted my life
I don’t need to hear your story
See your face
Touch you
Or hear your heart race
I feel you
Your sorrow
The nagging questions
And regret
Please let it go
I’m ready to break
Please release me
My sanity is at stake
I thought my heart would explode
As the tears flowed
Down my cheeks
Pain
Reached my mind
Only to find
I can’t comprehend
That there is no end
To this rabbit hole
The deeper I go
The less I see
What this is doing to me
Love is my misery
A dying thought
Of smiling faces
Warm embraces
Long days
Quite nights
With you by my side
In my bed
The fever spreads
The frenzy of limbs
In my head
Melding to one
An explosion of lust
Burning the sheets
Leaving us
Hungry for more
Sweet kisses
Working your way down
Into the heart
That’s still
With no sound
Manipulating
The beat
With want and need
Never enough
The words of love
Spewed from my lips
Unrecognizable
Emotions
That no longer exist
All that’s left
Is the pressure of time
Running faster
To get you out of my mind
Throat
Constricting
Fear has
Emotions conflicting
Vision is jaded
All colors are fading
Thoughts
Are fleeting
As my world
Starts receding
Into a blackness
I drift
A tortuous abyss
Of so many
“What if’s”
In this living hell
Is where I currently dwell
One step
One breath
Closer and closer I get
I’m teetering
Balancing
Trying to stay upright
It’s so hard to stay focused
When memories are dragging me down
I’ve been hiding too long in the comfort of pain
Trying to stay balanced and let the past heal
Getting over my fear is what’s brought me here
Fighting myself is the hardest thing I do
But here I am, on this edge
Putting it all on the line
Exposed
Focusing
One step at a time
Kiss Me Violet 